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Shneed

Shneed Vladmir Olcove Elmou in his usual attire

Shneed Vladmir Olcove Elmou
was born on the 30 th of February 1945 and still hasn't died. He lost both parents at an early age and left school at a late age. He now works as a freelance internet man with his brother Super Shnod. He is still in the fish buisness and says he never will leave it. He is afraid of doormice and is allergic to any type of non-recylclable paper.

Early LifeEdit

Shneed Vladmir (El Padrea) Olcove Elmou was born in Yugoslavia in 1945 aged 0. His father was a Russian cossack named Ripcurl Elmou and his mother was a woman named Elmou Remo Elmou (Formerly Remo Elmou Remo). At the age of 2 Shneed, along with his family and brother Shnod (see Super Shnod), evacuated his family shed/shack and moved to Northern Alaska. This sudden movement was a shock to the whole family and their friends and relatives. This caused most shock for Elmou Remo Elmou due to the fact that she had been eaten by an octopus on the way there (see Great Uncle Addidaduas). However Elmous' death inspired Shneed to become a lazy fisherman,Ripcurl to become an alchaholic and Shnod to become a clinically angry superhero. They moved to a place in Alaska with no name (until 1978 where Shneed was honoured to name it, see Sodville, Alaska) and settled down quite well. Within the first 2 years Shnod went missing and Ripcurl Elmou joined a Texan Travelling Circus for 19 years. They were planning on moving back to Yugoslavia after the war, but it didn't exist.Shneed went to Elementary (now called Sodville Elementary) from 1949-1971.He was the longest serving student there, ever. Aged 10 Shneed discovered that his father had been run over by a Zepplin,meaning that it was time to find a career. As he enjoyed throwing sticks in ponds and doing practically nothing for hours, fishing seemed to be a good idea. It was not. There were very few actual fish there, they were either dead or not a fish (see Sod (Fish)). Anyway, long story short Ripcurl and Elmou are dead, Shnod has gone insane and Shneed is completely useless.WOOPSIE SHNEED !

Discovering Sod and moving to EnglandEdit

Shneeds' career handn't taken off for 23 years. Then he had a revolutionary idea that would change his industry for ever. It was the late 70's and there was nothing people liked more than exotic fish like sun fish and cod. So, Shneed took what people liked and completely ignored it by coming up with a new idea. Taking two relatively cheap and dull fish like salmon and cod, and using the most inedible parts smashed together to form a brand new fish on the market. Calmon! However, Calmon didn't catch on quickly, so Shneed came up withh the idea of Sod (see Sod (Fish)) ! This new fish caused excitment amoung the Alaskan people as they were used to just eating moose and wasps. Sod was extremely loved to the Alaskans and they respected Shneeds work. In 1973 The A.R.S.E (Association of the Retail of Sea food and Enemeny) awarded Shneed Vladmir Olcove Elmou with the fish prize of the century and was given the honour of the naming the town of Sodville (see Sodville, Alaska). After winning the award he became a national celebrity, appearing on Good Morining ,Is it morning? It looks like night. Good Evening Alaska, 'Penguin Pete's tea time chat and the documentary film Being Shneed with co actors Jesus and the Abominobale Snowman and writer Steven Spielberg. He also wrote a besterseller called Fame,Fortune and Fish which sold 10 copies in 2 days (an Alaskan record).

However the fame and the fortunes only lasted for one year because in october 1974 Shneed Elmou was caught to have been putting moose meat in his Shneedzipops, Shnoodle and even his Sod flakes. The public was disgusted, as they were told Moose was a thing of the past. Shneed refused to talk to the media as they were "big bogeys" according to Mr. Elmou until December 24th 1974. He was escorted away from that filming studio with pitchforks and sun fish, or so he claimed. Shneed was forced to leave Alaska and move to somewhere where people only cared about themselves and didn't care if their food manufacturers lie to them. Shneed decided to move to Hertfordshire in England. Then he met the Queen and wrote a book and sold Swimps (see Swimps)and wrote a book and then settled down. He now lives in a suburban home next to an old lady (see Old "mole" lady) and a man in a bulldozer with an annoying habit (see The "DOG" person).

Finding England and Shnod Edit

During the early 80's and the 90's and some of the noughties Shneed was in a canoe in the middle of the pacific ocean looking for England. After he had run out of all food supplies and had eaten half the boat he was given salvation by an unlikely candidate. Brother Shnod (see Super Shnod) had been taking his super sidekick, Shney way (see Shney way), for a walk over the pacific when he stumbled across Shneed. He later on claimed that Shneed was trying to eat a duck shaped dingy. This brief re-union started the thier buisness partnership. It seemed that Shnod had the escaped the FBI and was fleeing to England to make parody songs with sub-liminale messages. They ended up in Hertfordshire although they were planing on going to Suffolk but the Sat Nav didn't work on flying super beings, also they dropped it in the ocean and an octopus ate it.Silly Great Uncle Addidaduas. Once they had found England they re-started their empire via internet. www.shneedelmou.com is now Shneeds' "Ofishal" web site.His website style is unique to him,as he says "it izz becores off the sppling erors".

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