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Old Lady (R.I.P to the photographer)

The Old "mole" Lady is the psychopathic and slightly irate neighbor of Shneed Vladmir Olcove Elmou (see Shneed Vladmir Olcove Elmou) and the notorious "DOG" person (see The "DOG" person). Up to this day she is hated by every living being on the planet. Only Nazi zombies like her; and we all know what they're like don't we. Scientists believe she was never young and will never decease. Be afraid, especially if you don't like moles.

Early LifeEdit

The Old Lady was born 1000000 BC in Lancashire, after being reincarnated from an angry dinosaur. Or so Shneed claims. She is apparently allergic to ice cream and hates Everything including herself. Her parents ran away from her two days after she was born so then she had to be brought up by moles. Apparently she can talk to the moles and they reply with very witty observations. For many years she has lived with hundreds of moles, much to the annoyance of neighbours. She was educated by a ferrel sheep and was taught Judo by a frenchman. She claims that all you need to know in life is how to rip a man heart out with a ball of wool while eating a croissant. I beg to differ. By 1 AD (this is still Early life) she became an angry and anti peaceful hippy/emo/cat. Then she became a huge fan of the messiah,she bought all his records (That's right records children) and all the jesus merchandise. Then he was executed to she got into stone skipping. At the age of 3 she was recommended to useca zimmerframe, by a stegosaurus, however she declined because he became extinct. She spent the rest of her miserable life in Glouster until she was kicked of for stamping of a goose,because "Geese are people too !". She decided to move to Hertfordshire because it began with a J and Mr. Bean lived there. She was shocked to find out the travel agent had tricked her. By "travel agent" I mean Gypsy and by "tricked her" I mean spiked her drink and conned her out of 60 grand. Happy days ! Well, as happy as they would get. Mrs. Lady then met a Mr. Elmou. The early life ended there.

Meeting (and despising) ShneedEdit

Shneed moved in to his house in 1 Waffle Road on the 3rd of November 2001. He moved in with brother Shnod and his sidekick Shney way (see Super Shnod and Shney way). They only stayed for a brief visit as they had to go out and make crime so that they could fight it. The Old lady said , and I quote "I instantly hated him, because I hate everything". Fair enough, however it did not end there. Mrs. Lady was desperate to get rid of Shneed. She had experience in the advertising industry so she knew how to annoy people and persuade them to do thinds they didn't want to. But, Shneed was a fisherman so he had experience in throwing sticks at scaly things and not caring. This war between carried on for some time until Shneed had bigger problems with The "DOG" man. Eventually, Shneed began to notice his home becoming infested with moles that had somehow tunnled underground and invaded his property. Lucky he had a cat and a BB gun, although never together as Shneed can tell you. In 2006 Shneed got a piece of paper with writing on it from the Supreme Council of Unwanted Moles (or S.C.U.M) saying that Shneed had permission to shout at everything that was mole related. This however caused this voice to have a bizzare accent and to this day hardly anyone can understand him. This made the mole Lady happy and by happy I mean angry because she is always angry. Eventually the Old "mole" Lady sued for Shneed shouting at a vole (not a mole). This pathetic excuse was thankfully ignored.

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